Getting married is, indeed, awesome. But when you're drowning in "wedmin" on the lead up to Your Big Day, gravy boats are going to be the least of your problems. Here are the key areas my wife and I - first time of putting that in print, feels weird and somehow comforting[*] - rowed over in the run up to our February nuptials. It’s our Top 10 hitches on the way to getting hitched.
1. The Guest List
She will say things like, “But you've only seen him four times in the 10 years we've been together." You will patiently explain that this is your best friend she is talking about and that male friendships are about quality, not quantity.
2. The God Thing
You are both open-minded, rational, commitment-phobic atheists. This will not matter when there is suddenly an excuse to dust down the cranky set of beliefs and traditions they tried to brainwash you with in childhood. So you are X. She is Y. But how X and Y should the day itself be? She will try sneaking in elements of both to keep everyone happy. You would be happy with no mention of either.
3. The Invites
You're thinking outside the box with those friends who got their caricatures on a tea towel as inspiration. She is thinking ribbons, embossing and wax seals.
4. The Wedding List
You have been living together for years and really don't need anything. She has been waiting for this moment all of her life. Give in and learn to think of Dualit toasters as marriage’s own Medal of Honour.
5. The Photos
Your two oldest friends are photographers whose work sells for a small fortune. Both have agreed to take pictures of your big day. She will ask, "Why can't we just have a proper wedding photographer like everyone else." Worth digging your heels in on this one - for art's sake, of course.
6. The Dress
Never suggest a price limit. Never offer an opinion. Even if, price per wear, this item will work out more expensive than the crown jewels.
7. The Venue
Your input will be sought. Shoot for the Chapel of Love, Las Vegas, but prepare to be shown around stately homes, grand follies and glitzy hotels.
8. The Entrance Music
Best to accept the simple comment, made in passing, that "Nick Drake's music actually doesn't mean anything to me" is hardly grounds for calling the whole thing off.
9. The Night Before
No, apparently you can't just stay at home and sleep on the sofa. But before you tell your best man you're staying at his, bear in mind you will need to be bright-eyed and top-and-tailed in the morning.
10. The Chair Covers, Napkins, etc
If these suddenly start to seem really important, you have probably gone too far in trying to appease her.
* Congratulations – Ed.